dirty martini in Philadelphia pub

Throughout my didactic history, educators have endeavoured to rid me, cure me, more accurately, of my verbose and superfluous ways in all matters of the pen ... it did not work. (Sesquipedalian Girl is just one of my many, many monikers.)

One PoliSci professor stamped an essay of mine (an exceptional piece, I thought, on the proximate relationship betwixt art and politics) with a great, red "Bullshit" and returned it to me with the directive to write something less "foppish" and more "serious". Clearly the world of politics was not to be my metier.

Another professor accused my father of writing a final essay for me: the topic being sociological in nature, my father being a clinical psychologist, the essay being "of post-doctoral level quality", the conclusion being I must have cheated. I received a C- because he couldn't prove I cheated. What a dick.

 

Over the years there have been more than few of this type whom saw me coming a mile a way, velvet knickers, Bettie Page lunchboxes, berets and all, and thought, "Good Lord, keep her out of my class!" One refused to grade anymore papers because "she couldn't read my writing" and though she'd never have admitted it told me I was too big of a dork to deal with. Whatever. She's probably dead by now. All that said (truly as short and pithy as I could do), I thought to myself I would write a simple blog this time, a list even, as it were. Naturally, it is apropos to language.

 

Yes, I understand language very well. I comprehend how it evolves and changes and that usage plays a big role in the ebb and flow of words and phrases. Like an exclusive nightclub in West Hollywood, one out means one in: arsy-versy is long-gone (although I'm doing my best to bring it back), but, Jebus, Bling-bling is a viable, dictionary entry.

Under the watchful gazes of lexicographers like Jean-Jacques Rousseau and Noah Webster to today's Merriam-Webster staffers, language has shifted and turned, lexicons ushered in and out like beauties on the velvet rope line escorted inside and rowdies tossed out on their asses from that very exclusive club. This is language and we move forward.

Ipso facto ... if I hear any of the following colloquialisms one more time ...

 

-Wall Street to Main Street ... although, an excellent drinking game during political seasons

-Bucket List ... just annoying on so many levels

-Facebook status, Facebooking, Facebook Friend, "Are you on Facebook?" or any derivation thereof

-Ditto for all terms deriving from Twitter

-Ditto for blog, blogging, blogger, etc. ... yes, I get the irony.

-blogosphere ... Good Lord, just stop it already!

-Hellz yeah!

-Hellicool ... or Helli-anything, unless you are Eric Cartman

-irregardless

-a whole nother

-viral, gone viral, going viral, viral marketing ... et cetera, et cetera

-Baby Daddy and/or Baby Mama

-freakin'

-Really?

-OMG, LOL and/or WTF ... written as well as spoken, yet especially spoken

-the optics of it (a political analysis-phrase meaning simply, "how it looks to people")

-the real America

-No Spin Zone

-whatev ... not difficult to say the whole word, just one more syllable and you're there

-late (Ditto)

 

 

Anything to add, my pretties? Like Dr. Frasier Crane, I'm listening.

Read 2412 times Last modified on Friday, 11 March 2011 01:22
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About Author

Jennifer Susannah Devore (a.k.a. JennyPop) authors the 18th C. historical-fiction series Savannah of Williamsburg. She is a regular contributor - 10 years running - to the Official San Diego Comic-Con Souvenir Book; as well, she writes and researches all content for JennyPop.com. Occasionally, JennyPop writes under the pseudonym Miss Hannah Hart, ghostdame of The Hotel del Coronado.

JennyPop has been cited by TIME magazine as a Peanuts and Charlie Brown expert. Her latest novel is The Darlings of Orange County, a sexy, posh and deadly romp through Hollywood, San Diego and Orange County. Book IV in the Savannah of Williamsburg Series is completed and awaits publication. She is currently researching Book V for the series. She resides at the beach with her husband, a tiny dog, a vast wardrobe and a closet that simply shan't do.

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